Just some random shit, musings, and nitpickery that's hit my mind lately, and in the past on Twitter:
- Why is it that people say 'I'm not gonna sit here and take this' when they are clearly standing up? I'm sure the extra nanosecond it takes to change the verb in that sentence is well worth it. It would at least take the 'dumbass' label off of you.
- I know many people have touched on this, but it does kinda make me cringe slightly when people misuse the term 'literally'. "This guy went up to me and tried to start sumthin', so I literally beat the shit out of him", yet no fecal matter is present. The phrase would be appropriate if you were using the Poop Hammer in "DeathSpank", but not on the mean streets of (insert town here). When such a gross misuse of the word is presented to me, you're not simply insulting the language. You're burning a bag of dog poop on its front door, ragging on its local sports team, and pissing in its mineral water. And I mean all of that figuratively, NOT literally.
- If the Lord did not want his name taken in vain, he wouldn't have created "Battletoads" for the NES. Or The Verminator from "Secret of Evermore". That guy was a bitch.
- My English teacher in Grade 7 played 'Ironic' by Alanis Morissette for us in class, and stated 'this song has many great examples of irony'. She probably should go back to the college she took English in and get a refund, as the only thing truly ironic about that song is the total lack of actual examples of real irony...
...which actually may be the point. A song called 'Ironic' having no accurate traces of irony being detailed...
... actually, I'm leaning more towards the 'Morissette/Ballard' songwriting team being dumbasses.
- In the summertime, do kids with Attention-Deficit Disorder attend concentration camp?
- If you're making a quiz on Sporcle.com, who wants to take a quiz based on YOUR favorite songs or movies. I'm sorry, but if I'm on there, I'm probably not going to play a game called 'guess what's on my iPod?' or 'my sister's favorite dildos' or 'things I think about while jerking off to footage of the moon landing'. Keep the quizzes impersonal, dammit!
Yes, most of that was nitpicking, but if I didn't nitpick, this blog would have VERY little content
- Ryan
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
The Bus
First blog post! To pop my blog's cherry, just a couple of amusing observations of the minutia when it comes to taking the bus:
- Do you ever notice that if you pull the 'stop the bus' cable just as someone is reaching for it, they turn around to see who did it? They're either curious as to who is getting off with them, or they look with mild indignity because someone got to the cable before they did. "YOU STOLE MY RINGY-DING!"
- This is just ranting, but why the fuck do people feel the need to sit in an aisle seat and have their bags or other shit on the window seat? I can understand if the bus is empty and you need a place to put your case of beer, but if the bus is crowded, put the bag on your lap and let the old man or the preggo have a seat. Hell, let ANYONE have the seat. Nobody should be standing if there's a perfectly good seat that is being taken up by backpacks and shopping bags.
If some airlines are charging fat people for two seats to board an airplane, make these stupid assholes get two passes, or have them pay double fare.
- Back to the amusing part, and this shows how fickle the human race can be. Whenever you get on a bus and it starts filling up, especially in the morning or during rush hour, someone will eventually have to sit next to you. The first thought that your brain produces is 'oh, shit. I can't relax as much now. Stupid people invading my private space'. Eventually, the bus hits major stops, and the population dwindles. Seats are empty now! The person who was invading your personal space, the person you can't stand because of his mere presence next to you, now finds an empty set of seats and leaves to sit there.
When that happens, for the splittiest of split-seconds, do you feel a teensy bit of dejection? "Awwww, what did I do?", then you go back to relaxing. It's extremely fleeting, but it's there.
However, you can feel REALLY bad for a few seconds if the bus is still crowded, and the person sitting next to you gets up and sits next to SOMEONE ELSE. Ever have THAT happen? For a few seconds, you think 'what did I do wrong?' or 'Is my deodorant working?'.
Yay for bad attempts at observational comedy!
- Ryan
- Do you ever notice that if you pull the 'stop the bus' cable just as someone is reaching for it, they turn around to see who did it? They're either curious as to who is getting off with them, or they look with mild indignity because someone got to the cable before they did. "YOU STOLE MY RINGY-DING!"
- This is just ranting, but why the fuck do people feel the need to sit in an aisle seat and have their bags or other shit on the window seat? I can understand if the bus is empty and you need a place to put your case of beer, but if the bus is crowded, put the bag on your lap and let the old man or the preggo have a seat. Hell, let ANYONE have the seat. Nobody should be standing if there's a perfectly good seat that is being taken up by backpacks and shopping bags.
If some airlines are charging fat people for two seats to board an airplane, make these stupid assholes get two passes, or have them pay double fare.
- Back to the amusing part, and this shows how fickle the human race can be. Whenever you get on a bus and it starts filling up, especially in the morning or during rush hour, someone will eventually have to sit next to you. The first thought that your brain produces is 'oh, shit. I can't relax as much now. Stupid people invading my private space'. Eventually, the bus hits major stops, and the population dwindles. Seats are empty now! The person who was invading your personal space, the person you can't stand because of his mere presence next to you, now finds an empty set of seats and leaves to sit there.
When that happens, for the splittiest of split-seconds, do you feel a teensy bit of dejection? "Awwww, what did I do?", then you go back to relaxing. It's extremely fleeting, but it's there.
However, you can feel REALLY bad for a few seconds if the bus is still crowded, and the person sitting next to you gets up and sits next to SOMEONE ELSE. Ever have THAT happen? For a few seconds, you think 'what did I do wrong?' or 'Is my deodorant working?'.
Yay for bad attempts at observational comedy!
- Ryan
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