- Whenever you watch cartoons, do you ever stop to watch the character's eyes to see if they blink? Most of them do! It's rather interesting that the creators take enough time to animate something that we probably wouldn't give a shit about if it didn't happen. If Peter Griffin stopped blinking during the cartoon, it may be kinda of weird, but it won't deter us from watching the show. It's not like anyone's gonna go "Oh, fuck, he's not blinking. This is so goddamned unrealistic. I was hoping to see him fight the giant chicken again, but I can't in good conscience."
- Another quirk with cartoons is the fact that some supporting character's parents look exactly like each other. One example would be Milhouse's parents from The Simpsons. They both have giant noses, hideous coke-bottle glasses, and blue hair. When Kirk met Luann, did they both look like that? If they did, wouldn't they wonder if they were brother and sister first? Did they do a DNA test before they started fucking, or did Kirk go 'god DAMN, this bitch is so attractive. I so wanna borrow one of her feelings' in a weird, Oedipal display of crazed lust?
And here's the scary thing: what if they didn't look the same when they met? Was there some weird indoctrination process that Luann had to undergo before she became an acceptable member of the Van Houten family? "OK, let's get some Blue Dye #56, some glasses that Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys would envy, and some discarded assfat to surgically implant into her nasal cavity. She must be ONE OF US!" Geez, no wonder they're divorced and Milhouse is so fucked up.
- You ever do this: when the batteries in your remote control are almost dead and stop working, do you take the batteries out and rearrange them, or just rotate them slightly? It works! You can get about a year out of a good set of batteries if you do this. If only that would work for a car.
- Whenever I watch a boxing match, why do I hear some of the participants being referred to as 'good punchers'? They're fucking BOXERS. They're supposed to be good punchers! I don't think I would ever hear anyone say "in this match, we have a good puncher facing off against a rather shitty puncher. I don't know how he got here. Maybe he blew Don King, I don't know. Seriously, this guy punches like old people fuck: slow, sloppy, and with a weak fist."
These are the thoughts I have that keep my circle of friends resembling more of a rhombus.
- Ryan
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